Script of Suigintou's "Koyoi mo Ennu~i" Vol. 3 - Christmas Special (LHCA-5083) Translated into English by Unyuunymous (http://www.rozen-unyu.net/). December 12, 2007 TRACK 1 - OPENING TALK FROM THE HOT SPRINGS RESORT [Water gurgling.] Suigintou: [Humming.] Suigintou: [Sigh.] Ahh... After all's said and done, hot springs really are nice~. The views are so good, and the open-air baths are also the greatest~! It feels as if it's taking away all at once days' worth of fatigue. You do need times like this~! [Sigh.] [Bamboo spout plonk.] Suigintou: Still, though, I wonder what ended up happening to Megu? [Sigh.] Megu: You called? Suigintou: [Spluttering.] [Splash.] Suigintou: M-Megu?! Megu: Nice bath, isn't it, Suigintou? Suigintou: Yes... I mean, no! Megu, what are you doing here?! Megu: Well, Suigintou, I'm here because I'm your Medium. Suigintou: Huh? No... "Because I'm your Medium" isn't any kind of answer! What the hell is this... Megu: Shall I shampoo your hair? Suigintou: N-no thanks! Megu: I see... That's too bad. And I thought you'd look so cute wearing a shampoo hat... Suigintou: Wha... what are you trying to make me do?! Honestly... But, at any rate, is it all right for you to be taking a hot spring bath? Megu: Suigintou, are you concerned about me? Suigintou: I... I'm not particularly concerned or any-... I... Whatever might happen to you is none of my business! Megu: [Giggle.] I'm glad. Thank you, Suigintou. Suigintou: [Stammering.] Megu: But it's all right. I just thought it might be nice to try it, for therapeutic purposes. Suigintou: Therapeutic...? ... Do you have proper permission from the doctors to...? Megu: More importantly, Suigintou, don't you think it's an amazing coincidence that this random hot spring resort that I came to was the same one that you're at? Suigintou: C-coincidence, eh... I wonder if that's true? Megu: Ah, but, maybe it's not coincidence, but something that was meant to be? I do feel a sense of destiny. Suigintou: Destiny? ... E-eh... What I feel is danger... Megu: Say, Suigintou? Suigintou: W-what? Megu: Wanna eat an egg? Suigintou: Huh?! An... e-egg~?! Megu: Yes. After all, when you think of hot springs, you think of eggs, right? Here, Suigintou. Suigintou: E-e-e-ehh? An... e-egg... Megu: You look so cute holding an egg, Suigintou. Suigintou: W-wha... eh?! A-are you making fun of me?! Megu: Oh? Perhaps you'd prefer a hot-spring bean jam bun? Or a rice cracker? Suigintou: Th-that's not it! Please stop trying to make me out as some kind of "gluttonous character"! Megu: Ah, I know! For Suigintou, after all, it should be pita bread. Here - some pita bread. Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] WTF?!! [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i' - Christmas Special". ... Suigintou: How are you~? I'm Suigintou, proud first doll of the Rozen Maidens. [Sigh.] So it's begun - "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'". This program is one which I, Suigintou, host only at times when I feel like it, but the staff were saying things like "It's Christmas, so please cooperate with us," and despite it being my long-awaited time off at the hot springs they chased me all the way here... What of my privacy?! In the first place, so what if it's Christmas? Telling me to give "Service, service!" to all of the listeners spending a lonesome Christmas... Are they mistaking what program this is? Why should I have to go to all the trouble of doing something like this?! This is the third time for me, I'm telling you! Honestly, are they stupid?! [Breathing hard.] Well... for the time being... I guess I'll introduce a letter or something. Suigintou: This letter is from Medium Name "I-It's Not As If I'm Worried About You Or Anything, Okay?"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, nyui nyu~i!" Nyui nyu~i. " Lately when I go out about town, it's as if things feel totally like Christmas already. To be honest, me not ever having had a girlfriend, this time of year is hard to bear." Like I care... "The stupid couples out on the streets are all acting so annoying... I hate Christmas! Gin-sama, would you give lonesome, miserable me some kind of present? At least some pity?" Huh? A present? Why should I have to give a present to "I-It's Not As If I'm Worried About You Or Anything, Okay?"?! It's so stupid that you expect me to pour out my heart to you just because it's Christmas! Listen, "I-It's Not As If I'm Worried About You Or Anything, Okay?"! You can just have yourself the most lonesome Christmas every, okay~? Or, if you find it so unbearable, I could turn you into Junk - PERMANEN- Megu: Wait, Suigintou. Suigintou: Eh...? M-Megu...? Megu: That letter is from... a troll. [Plink.] Suigintou: Megu? When did you...? ... So, what the hell is a "troll"? Megu: Geez, not knowing what a troll is... Suigintou, are you an airhead or what? Suigintou: Wha-?! Airhead, you say?! Are you making fun of me?! Megu: Anyway, saying "I'll turn you into Junk!" to such an obvious troll... You shouldn't give away those "Junk!'"s so cheaply. Suigintou: G... give away cheaply...? Megu: How about we forget that you ever read that letter and move on to the next one? Suigintou: W-wait a minute, Megu! Megu: Oh, that's right. I've got to at least introduce myself properly. [Giggle.] Good evening. I'm Suigintou's Medium, Megu Kakizaki. I'm working as this program's assistant personality, together with Suigintou. It's a pleasure to meet you all. Suigintou: ... Hey, Megu... r-really... WTF~?!! [Music fades out.] TRACK 2 - COMMERCIAL TIME 1 [Jingle starts.] Woman: Are you getting enough lactic acid bacteria? [Glug glug glug.] Girl: [Contented sigh.] Look, look! So white! Woman: The Lactic Acid Bacteria Promotion Committee. ... [Music changes.] Shinku: Afternoon tea-time. Won't you spend this elegant moment together with us? Rozen Maiden Web Radio, "Bara no Kaori no Garden Party*". As per the usual practice, please send us your funny quiz questions for this week's guest via the program's official web page. [* this is the name of the radio program hosted by Shinku and Jun] [Music stops.] ... Woman: Have you been feeling irritable lately? [Music starts.] Woman: Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage has the calcium that will calm your frayed nerves, and it also includes lactic acid bacteria to keep you in tip-top health. Drink Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage, and let's all live healthily each and every day! Girl: [Singing:] There~ there~, Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage! Yeah! Suigintou: Drink it~. [Music stops.] TRACK 3 - IT'S "QUESTION-AND-ANSWER" [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i' - Christmas Special". [Music changes.] Suigintou: Welcome back again. I'm Suigintou. Megu: Welcome back again. I'm Megu Kakizaki. Since today is what they're calling a Christmas Special, we're broadcasting to you now from a hot springs resort. Suigintou: Honestly. What the hell's with following me here on my day off? Staff, remember this! Megu: By the way, Suigintou? Suigintou: What? Megu: Because we've just gotten out of the hot spring, I tried on a yukata. What do you think? Suigintou: Hmm~? Oh, I see. Megu: What... do... you... think~? Suigintou: I... it looks nice on you, I guess? Megu: It does? I'm so glad. Suigintou: [Sigh.] Megu: Suigintou - aren't you going to put one on - a yukata? Suigintou: There's no way you'll get me into one of those. Megu: Then, how about a Santa suit? Suigintou: Huh~? A "Santa suit"~? Megu: Oh come on now, that outfit that Santa Claus wears. Don't you think that a "Santa-Girl Suigintou" would be moe? Suigintou: M... moe...? Megu: Yes. I think it'd go over pretty well. Suigintou: I... I can't imagine. A... anyway, there's no way that I, a proud Rozen Maiden, would wear something created by a person other than Father! Megu: But, I think it would definitely look nice on you. Suigintou: M... make that face all you want, but I said no and I mean no. I refuse - *refuse*! Megu: You do? That's too bad. [Chuckle.] Suigintou: H-hmph! H-hurry up and read a letter! Megu: Okaaay... This letter comes to us from Medium Name "I'm Called 'Micchan' By Kana"-san. ... "Hello. I always enjoy listening together with Kana. It's nearly Christmas, isn't it? How are the two of you going to spend your Christmas ~kashira? Parenthesis, I've caught that '~kashira' speech mannerism from Kana. Eeek!" Suigintou: [Groan.] Megu: "Music note. Close parenthesis. I'm arranging a photo-shoot party where I'll have Kana wear all sorts of outfits. I'm including a few of the photos of her wearing the outfits, okay? Isn't my Kana cute? I can't wait for what happens now. P.S.: I plan to invite other dolls besides Kana. Tee-hee-hee! I'll be waiting ~kashira! Music note." ...is what she says, Suigintou. Suigintou: Whaaat are these photos supposed to be of? Kanaria? And, is this supposed to be Kanaria's Medium? Megu: So it seems. But, there's such a huge quantity of them. She wrote that these are just "a few", but... Ha! In this photo, she's wearing a Santa suit! Suigintou: Eh? Let me see that... Ahh, so this is... Whaaat, that doesn't look good on her at all~! After all, rather than by a little kid, this should be worn by more of a sexy, "older sister" type of character, don't you think~? Megu: I agree. It would look better on you, Suigintou. I think you'd definitely look cute in it. Suigintou: ... Megu. Megu: What? Suigintou: I swear I'm not putting it on. Megu: [Giggle.] Suigintou: But what's with her, so weakly being forced to wear this and that sort of thing? Does this girl have no sense of pride~? Honestly, she has no right to call herself a Rozen Maiden! Kanaria, I'm going to take your Rosa Mystica from you~! [Laughter.] Rest assured~! Megu: Say, Suigintou? It's written here that you're invited to the photo-shoot party, but... Suigintou: There's no way that I'd attend such a thing! Honestly, it's so stupid. Megu: I agree. Really, it's so stupid. Because, you're going to spend Christmas with me. Suigintou: ... Eh...? Megu: [Giggle.] I can hardly wait. Suigintou: [Nervous laughter.] Megu: [Laughter.] Suigintou: ... [Weakly:] W-well then, next... Megu: This is from Medium Name "Delicious-Seeming Place Of Honor"-san. Suigintou: Thanks. Megu: "Gin-sama, Megu, Ennu~i Christmas." Suigintou: Ennu~i Christmas... Megu: "On the last 'Megu's "Happy Medical Exam Room"', the astrological forecast corner was very fun. Please, by all means, continue this corner. Megu is cool." Suigintou: On what the hell grounds do you call her cool? I totally can't understand it, though, that kind of fortune-telling. Megu: That fortune-telling? Ah, Suigintou, could it be that it didn't come true very well for you? Suigintou: Of course it didn't. You aren't going to tell me you plan to do it this time, too, are you? Megu: Well, Suigintou, to meet your expectations... Suigintou: [Gasp.] Megu: ... I'll do it again this time, too. Look forward to it. Suigintou: FATHER!! [Crying.] ... Ahh... Well, next... This one comes to us from Medium Name "Lactic Acid Bacteria Antibody"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, good evening. Lately it seems that you haven't been standing up to Megu, but, is it all right that Gin-sama - proud first doll of the Rozen Maidens - should be treated in such an offhand manner by a mere human Medium? Please, here's where you should tell her off." That's right! Megu! Don't you think you've been getting a little bit full of yourself lately? You're my servant, so please refrain a little more from causing me so much trouble! ... O-okay? Do you understand? Megu: Oh? Suigintou? Suigintou: What? Megu: Is it all right for you to be saying that sort of thing to me? Suigintou: ...? Megu: [Chuckle.] Suigintou: [Nervous breathing.] I retract my previous statement. ... Grr... Let's move on to the next! Megu: Medium Name Kazuppe-san. "Gin-chan, how do you do." Suigintou: "Gin-chan"?! ... How do you do... Megu: "In the two previous CDs so far, my beloved Hina-chan still hasn't made an appearance. When will you call her into the studio as a guest? I'm expecting next time for sure to be able to hear a talk between Gin-chan and Hina-chan, and I'll be waiting with anticipation for it to go on sale." Suigintou: Hinaichigo~?! If she were to come as a guest, I'd eat *her* instead of the strawberry on top of her shortcake~! [Laughter.] Megu: [Laughter.] Ahh... Suigintou: Right? Megu: Delicious. Suigintou: Delicious~! Seconds, please~! ... Next. This comes from Medium Name Puniyo. "Gin-sama, is there anyone about whom you think, 'I can't measure up to her~'? I think that I could never measure up to you, Gin-sama." Let's see~. Lately I've been thinking... that maybe I... couldn't measure up to Megu... [Shiver.] After all, that Megu... Megu, even though she's my Medium... SHE'S SO BLACK-HEARTED~! [Sobbing.] Megu: Ah, Suigintou? Suigintou: What... Megu: Did you just say something? [Plink.] Suigintou: [Breathing nervously.] I didn't say anything. [Sob.] ... Shall we move on to the next one?! ... This letter is from Medium Name... Huh? ... "Hinaisago"? ...-san. What's this? Such sloppy handwriting... But, what is this person thinking, sending in a picture to a radio program? But, it's really not possible that- Megu: It's magnificent! What an avant-garde drawing! Suigintou: Eh? Megu: [Breathlessly:] This dynamic sketching, and this subtle yet bold use of color resulting in such a unique contrast... Truly, it is a mixture of dreams with reality... The emotion and inner feelings flowing at the artist's roots are masterfully opened up with the power of the imagination! Yes, if I may speak figuratively, it is like a romantic opera by Wagner! Suigintou: Ah... ah, huh... Megu: Say, don't you think so too, Suigintou? Suigintou: Eh?! Ah, don't I think so...? Now that you ask... Megu: In this picture, together with such human feelings as unease, trouble, and melancholy, I can yet feel a love of nature... That such a picture as this could exist... it's existence itself is truly a wonder! ... Even Friedrich, Runge, Goya, Delacroix, and William Blake would be amazed! Suigintou: I... I'm amazed at *you*, Megu... Megu: It is truly a strange work. Suigintou: That, I can understand. Megu: Say, Suigintou, don't you think that you'd like to be able to speak with the artist who drew this? Suigintou: Not at all! Megu: You'd like to be able to speak with her, wouldn't you? Suigintou: Not in the slightest! Megu: *I'd* like... to hear what she has to say... Suigintou: "Silence..." [Click. Dialing.] Megu: Geez, you're so dishonest with your feelings... Suigintou: Hey, Megu! Don't just go and...! [Ringing.] TRACK 4 - HOW ABOUT SENDING IN A PICTURE TO THE RADIO PROGRAM? [Beep.] Jun: [On the phone:] Yes, Sakurada residence. Megu: Hello, my name is Megu Kakizaki. I'm the assistant personality for "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'", as well as Suigintou's Medium, and... Suigintou: [Muttering:] Honestly... What could she be intending... Jun: [On the phone:] Eh?! Suigintou's...?! Suigintou: Hey, staff! Get Megu to cut this out, already! Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] Is it Suigintou...?! Here, Jun, pass me that phone! Jun: [On the phone in the distance:] Eh? Wa-wa-wa...! [On the phone, in the distance:] [Clatter.] Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] [Yelling.] Jun~! Shinku: [On the phone:] Hello, is this Suigintou? What on earth are you- Suigintou: ... This voice... Is it Shinku...? Megu: No, I'm not Suigintou. My name's Megu Kakizaki, and I'm serving as an assistant personality for "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'". Shinku: [On the phone:] ...! Y-you're...?! Suigintou: It *is* Shinku, after all... Megu: Oh, that voice. Would you be the one from before who...? Shinku: [On the phone:] Yes! I am indebted to you for what you did for me the other day. Thanks to you, I am somehow able to try my best. Suigintou: Huh? Megu: You are? I'm glad. I was a bit worried. Shinku: [On the phone:] Eh? ... That's... Thank you very much! For you to be concerned for the sake of little old me... Suigintou: What? Do they know each other? Megu: Um, would there by any chance be a person there by the name of Hinaisago-san? Shinku: [On the phone:] Eh? Hina... isago-san, you say? Jun: [On the phone:] [Groaning.] Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] Jun, come to your senses! Megu: Yes - Hinaisago-san. She sent a very wonderful picture to my program- Suigintou: Wait a minute, did you just say "*MY* program"-?! Megu: So just now we were admiring it, and thinking that we'd like to speak with her, so, would she be there? Shinku: [On the phone:] Huh... Hinaisago...? Megu: It's possible that it may be a pen-name. Shinku: [On the phone:] Could you please hold on for a moment? [Click.] Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] Hey, Jun... Jun! How long do you intend to spend napping?! Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] Agh-?! It's your fault, Shinku! Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] Nooo! It's bad for you to argue ~na no! Suigintou: Eh...? Hm... It seems I've heard that... Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] Honestly, how slovenly... Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] It's bad ~na no! Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] More importantly, Jun, did you send in a postcard to Suigintou's radio show? Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] A postcard? Ahh, I think I may have mailed one before... Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] There's someone on the phone who wants to ask some kind of questions concerning the picture. Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] Huh? By picture, you mean the portrait? I didn't draw the portrait on it, but... Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] But she says it's concerning the picture. Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] She must have the wrong person. That, or it's some prank of Suiseiseki's. Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] She says it's from a Hinaisago-san. Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] Hinaisago? Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] Ah, Hina! Hina sent it! Suigintou: Hina...? Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] Ehh?! Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] Hina sent the postcard to Suigintou! Suigintou: Eh?! Hinaichigo?! Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] Hinaisago? Hinaisago... Hinaichigo? Jun: [On the phone, in the distance:] Ahh, I see. She wrote "sa" for "chi" by mistake. Little kids often do that. Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] Hmmph! Hina's not a little kid! Suigintou: So it was Hinaichigo?! Shinku: [On the phone, in the distance:] In that case, Hinaichigo, the phone is for you. Hinaichigo: [On the phone, in the distance:] All right! [Click.] Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Hello ~na no! Megu: Hello. Hinaisago-san? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] No! Hina's name is "Hinaichigo" ~na no! Suigintou: Honestly, she's the same as ever, with this stupid act... Megu: Hinaichigo-san, is it? Um, are you the person who sent us a picture? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] I am ~na no! Megu: I see! So it was you, Hinaichigo-san, who drew that magnificent picture! Suigintou: Magnificent? How so...? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] [Giggling.] You're kinda making Hina blush! Suigintou: There's no cause for you to blush. Megu: So then, we'd enjoy asking you a few questions about it, but, would that be all right? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Yes ~na no! Megu: Coming from that picture, I sensed a very profound philosophy. Just what sort of message is contained in it? Suigintou: Philosophy...? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Hweh? Message? Megu: Yes. What were you trying to convey through that picture? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Um... "Merry Christmas" ~na no! Suigintou and Megu: Huh? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] "Merry Christmas" ~na no! It says so right on it! Suigintou: Ah, this lettering...? Megu: Eh? Um, anything else...? L-like any points you'd like us to look at, or anything that you'd like us to feel? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Umm... Shinku, and Jun, and Nori, Suiseiseki and Souseiseki and Kanaria and Suigintou, and Tomoe - everyone is all there! And, they're celebrating Christmas~! Suigintou: [Chuckle.] Don't make me laught! Megu: That's all? Hinaichigo: [On the phone:] Yeah! So, Merry Christmas ~na no! [Click. Dial tone.] Suigintou: U... umm... Megu? Megu: ... Yes. ... It is Christmas... Right? Right... Suigintou: Oh... geez... Megu: It's truly a wondrous thing. Suigintou: How so?! Megu: [Coughing.] Suigintou: Ah...! M-Megu?! Megu: I'm sorry, Suigintou. It seems I'm not feeling quite well today. Suigintou: ...?! S-so it seems... Uh, maybe you'd better go to bed and rest? Megu: Yes. I think I'll do that. I'm sorry, Suigintou... [Coughing.] [Door sliding open and shut.] Suigintou: ... Geez... What's going on? ... Well, then, let's move on to the next corner. TRACK 5 - SUIGINTOU'S "I'LL TURN YOU INTO *JUNK*!" Suigintou: Suigintou's... [Echoing voice:] "I'll Turn You Into JUNK!" [Breaking glass.] [Music starts.] ... Suigintou: Collecting many of the worries of my listeners and solving them is what this corner is about. But, this being a Christmas Special, we're going to concentrate especially on the worries that you have because of it being Christmas. Well, although since you've probably got nothing but ridiculous worries, and Megu went off somewhere, maybe I could just go home too... ... Yeah, I know. It's a joke, for crying out loud! Well then, without getting our hopes up, shall we read some~? [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: We'll begin first with this letter. It comes to us from Medium Name Mizuki Asakura-san. Thanks. "Hoho~i! That's my funny sort of greeting. Actually, I am Santa! This year, Gin-chan, because you've been a good girl, I intend to give you a present! Yes, Gin-chan, if you are good enough to choose me as your Medium, on Christmas you can look forward to the game software 'Detective Kunkun DS'..." Detective Kunkun, you say?! I want it! I want it so much~! [Deep breath.] Don't let yourself be trolled... Ahh, but, more than a game, or more than anything, I'd like to meet Kunkun himself in person~! Ahhh, please, God of Christmas, Santa Claus, give me Kunkun! And also Father, and... ... Let's read the next one. [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name "Lactic Acid Beverage Is Very Good For Our Health So Let's Drink It"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, ennu~i." Ennu~i. "Lately we've adopted a cat at our home, but there's somethat that worries me. When I walk down the hallway, the cat starts to follow me. But if I turn around, then he stops, and if I try to approach him he runs away. But, if I then avert my eyes and nonchalantly turn my back on the cat, he follows me again. I think of myself as having always been the type of person who is liked by animals, but what should I do to demonstrate my sincerity so that he won't run away?" Oh, you poor thing~. Are you playing "Daruma-san ga Koronda*" with the cat~? How sad~! Meowww~! So that he won't run away... [Echoing voice:] Try bathing your entire body in catnip! Bathe in it as if it were hot water~! [* a Japanese children's game similar to Red Light, Green Light] [Breaking glass.] Suigintou: Next. [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name "Christmas Is That Person's Birthday"-san. Thanks. "Gin-sama, good evenuts.*" ... Good evenuts...? Huh... What are you, stupid? "Even though it's so cold that I can't get out of my futon in the mornings, it just won't snow. Gin-sama... Please, Gin-sama, use your power to make it snow enough for me to be able to build a snowman." ... Rather than that, I know something that would be muuuch more amusing than to build a snowman... [Echoing voice:] How about if I make you into a feather-man~? A pitch-black feather-man~! [Laughter.] [* writer is using a strange 2ch style of affected speech] [Breaking glass.] Suigintou: It would be so wonderful~! And when I'm finished, I'll decorate my room with you! Meimei, get out here! Next. [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: Uhh, this one comes to us from Medium Name "Out Of Fashion"-san. Thanks. "Like you earlier, Suigintou, I feel like my heart is being turned into Junk by Megu." ... Not by me, but by Megu...? [Gasp.] Megu... By now it seems like you're taking over even this corner! Ahh, such a scary girl! [Panting.] I've got to devise some kind of countermeasures... Next! [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: This one comes to us from Medium Name Anderson. Thanks. "At last it's the month of December - Christmas. The amount of lighting in the town increases all at once, and I can't help but worry and worry that there will end up being not enough electricity. Gin-sama, by all means, please destroy this wasteful illumination. I'm counting on you." Yeees! Shall I destroy it with my blue flames and turn it into a festival? [Singing in an echoing voice:] Wreck happiness~! Wreck Christmas~! Yeah, wreck Christmas~! And continue with a Festival of Junk~! Yeah~! [Breaking glass.] Suigintou: [Panting.] ... Well, next. [Paper rustling.] Suigintou: This letter is from Medium Name Norris-san. Thanks. "It's nearly Christmas. Which means, I'm worrying about Christmas cooking. I'm thinking of making roast chicken, but which do you think would be appropriate - a hen, or a turkey? Ah, but, maybe people would be happy if I made Flower-Topped Hamburger and put special Christmas decorations on it? Ahh, what should I do? I'm confused as to which would be best~!" ... Hen or turkey? If it's Christmas, then turkey, right? Suigintou: Oh, but she said "roast chicken", so I guess a hen or something would be best? Now that I think of it... what's "Flower-Topped Hamburger"? ... Eh? A hamburger steak with a fried egg in the shape of a flower on top of it? Ah. I see. Hmm... Flower-Topped Hamburger... Flower-Topped...? Flower-Topped, eh... Well, that would be fine, wouldn't it? And then serve it up suitably with some red things and some green things, and it would be really Christmassy... Hm? Red and green? ... Shinku...? Now that I think of it, Shinku wears Christmas colors, doesn't she~! [Laughter.] Oh, that's so funny~! [Echoing voice:] Maybe sometime I should hang Shinku from a tree or something as a decoration~! [Laughter.] [Breaking glass.] Suigintou: [Laughter.] ... [Catching breath.] ... But, though it's Christmas we're speaking of, these are really~... [Chuckle.] ...Nothing but such lame worries, aren't they~? I wish you'd be a bit more considerate of the program. I'm joining you because I have no choice in the matter, but please send me some proper and intelligent letters that will entertain me~! [Music fades out.] TRACK 6 - COMMERCIAL TIME 2 [Jingle starts.] Woman: Are you getting enough lactic acid bacteria? [Glug glug glug.] Woman 2: [Puff.] One more bottle! Woman: The Lactic Acid Bacteria Promotion Committee. ... [Music changes.] Kunkun: Hey, there! It's me - Kunkun! All you good boys and girls, the audio recorded on this CD is for your own individual enjoyment, and reproduction or transmittal over the internet without the express written consent of the rights-holder is forbidden by copyright! So, don't upload it to such places as [BEEP] or [BEEP]! Understand? Well then, see you next weeKunkun! [Music stops.] ... Woman: Have you been feeling irritable lately? [Music starts.] Woman: Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage has the calcium that will calm your frayed nerves, and it also included lactic acid bacteria to keep you in tip-top health. Drink Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage, and let's all live healthily each and every day! Girl: [Singing:] There~ there~, Lactic Acid Bacteria Beverage! Yeah! Suigintou: [Laughter.] [Echoing voice:] Are you taking your lactic acid bacteria~? [Music stops.] TRACK 7 - MY DEAREST BLACK ANGEL [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i' - Christmas Special". [Music changes.] Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] "My Dearest Black Angel". ... Suigintou: This corner is one in which I entertain your so-called words of wooing. I always get delivered entreaties from people trying to sway my heart, to make me believe that I wouldn't mind making them my Medium. But, this being a Christmas Special, I'm concentrating specifically on the wooing words of listeners who say they want to spend their Christmas together with me. Megu: Hello. I'm Suigintou's Medium, Megu Kakizaki. Suigintou: ... Is it all right for you to be back out of bed already? Megu: Yes. I'm feeling better now. Sorry, everyone, for making you worry. Suigintou: You should have stayed in bed longer. Megu: Thanks to you, too, Suigintou, for worrying about me. Suigintou: I... I'm not particularly worrying about you or anything! Megu: No? But, I can tell. Suigintou: Hmph! Say what you like... Megu: Hey, Suigintou? Were you lonely, being by yourself? Suigintou: Huh? There's no way I'd be lonely~! Megu: *I* was lonely. Suigintou: M-Megu...? Megu: Whenever I'm around you, Suigintou, I feel very energetic. It's as if somehow you're sharing your strength with me - that's what it feels like. Suigintou: To... to be sure, whenever I'm around Megu I do feel like somehow my energy's being drained away... Megu: Want to eat an apple? Suigintou: Where the hell did that come from, all of a sudden?! Megu: I got it from a hospital visitor. Suigintou, do you like apples? Suigintou: N-not particularly! Megu: There~! Suigintou: [Gagging sounds.] Megu: Eat up. Suigintou: [Chewing and swallowing.] E-enough, already! More importantly, hurry up and read a letter! Megu: Okaaay. [Paper rustling.] Megu: The first one is from Medium Name "One Week Old Cake"-san. Suigintou: Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: "Tonight, I'd like to be your reindeer." [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Laughter.] Yes, be one~! And then let me ride on your back, and I'll go wherever I want~! Megu: Then give me a ride, too. [Music stops.] Suigintou: Yes~! Suigintou and Megu: [Laughter.] Megu: Next. This is from Medium Name Akachouchin-san*. [* Akachouchin is the name of a fan art character you may have seen before, who looks kind of like a drunk half-naked cross between Shinku and Suigintou] Suigintou: Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: "Your smile is protein." [Music starts.] Suigintou: Huh? I don't understand what he means. Protein, what the hell? Megu: Dunno. Next. [Paper rustling.] [Music stops.] Megu: This one's from Medium Name "The Eraser Dust Inside My Head"-san. Suigintou: Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: "The one to become Alice will probably be Shinku-sama. Anyhow, Gin-sama, you aren't suited to become Alice, so please do the prudent thing and become my wife instead." [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Seething.] E-eraser dust...! Your head's packed full of eraser dust, isn't it?! I'm not going to be your wife, moron! [Echoing voice:] Become Junk and end yourself!! [Breaking glass.] [Music stops.] Megu: He's already Junk, isn't he? Suigintou: Yes, you're right~! After all, his head's packed full of eraser dust~! Suigintou and Megu: [Laughter.] Megu: Next. This one's from Medium Name "Mahjong Quiz"-san. Suigintou: Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: "Ah, Gin-sama. Wherefore art thou, Gin-sama? But, it just occurred to me, I was looking that up in a dictionary the other day, and..." Suigintou: Mm-hm. Megu: "What do you know, it means 'senior citizen'*." [* Gin-sama = literally "honored/venerable silver"] Suigintou: [Gasp.] Megu: "Even though you try to act young, you're just a dead-ender." Suigintou: "S-Senior..."?! Megu: "I love you when you act like that, Gin-sama, from the bottom of my heart." [Music starts.] Suigintou: Th... th-th-that doesn't follow at all! These silver locks of mine... [Gasping for breath.] Megu~! Megu: Shhhhhhhhhh! Suigintou: Megu~! Megu: Shhh! Shhhhhh! [Music stops.] Suigintou: "Shhh"?! What's with the "shhh"...?! [Sounds as if the voice actresses are trying to keep from cracking up for some reason.] Megu: Well, next. This is from Medium Name Punk-san. Suigintou: Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: "Suigintou. I love you." Suigintou: Ugh-! I'm gonna be sick! Ahh... Megu: "... Second best, after Souseiseki." [Music starts.] Suigintou: What?! Whaaat?! Second best, after Souseiseki~?! Didn't he just say first that he loves me?! Megu: Second best. After Souseiseki. [Music stops.] Suigintou: Fine. That's enough. Next. Megu: This is from Medium Name "The Idiot's Military March"-san. Suigintou: [Sigh.] Thanks. [Music trill.] Megu: [Singing retardedly:] "Heyyy, like, y'know, big sister Gin, I'm like, super-seeeeriously in loooove with her, and, this feeling's like, seeeeriously not half-hearted, I, like, super-seeeeeriously want to date her and stuff, and it's, like, seeeeriously not half-hearted..." [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Singing retardedly:] "Super-seeeeriously, do you seeeeriously want to, like, die? Su-su-super-seeeeriously I'm gonna Ju- I'm gonna turn you into Ju-Ju-Ju-Junk-" MEIMEI!!! [Breaking glass.] [Music changes.] Megu: ... That concludes this week's corner, "My Dearest Black Angel". Suigintou: W-w... what?! Megu: Is something the matter, Suigintou? Suigintou: No, n-not particularly... It's nothing! Megu: Did you want to hear one from me? Suigintou: Eh-?! ... Umm... That's not it, but... I was just a little bit disappointed that... Megu: [Giggle.] Suigintou: W-what's so funny?! Megu: Nothing. Well then, I'll say it. ... Suigintou. Suigintou: W... w-what? Megu: ... The two of us meeting was no coincidence. It was meant to be. Suigintou: ... [Stammering.] [Bells ringing.] Megu: How was that? Did it bring a lump to your throat? Suigintou: ... H-huh? W-what are you talking about?! O-of course it didn't! Ahh, geez, honestly, every single time... What are you, stupid?! Megu: It didn't? That's too bad. Suigintou: ... Th... this corner is waiting for letters from you! I-if you're one who insists that he must become my Medium at any cost, then send one in! Try as best you can~! Megu: So then, at this point, please listen to a song. [Music stops.] TRACK 8 - TODAY'S SONG: "THANKFUL ANNIVERSARY" (MEGU VERSION) Shizuka ni furitsumoru yuki The snow piling up silently Machi wo masshiro tsutsunde yuku Enshrouds the town in virgin white. Kon’ya wa tokubetsu da kara Tonight is special, so Dare mo minna egao ni nareru Everyone has a smile on their face Happy Anniversary Yasashii kimochi On this night, brimming over Afureru kono yoru ni With kind feelings, Mune-ippai no “arigatou” wo I’ll softly deliver to you Sotto anata ni todokete oku ne A heartfelt “thank you”. Asu no asa ni wa, kizuite kureru ka na Come tomorrow morning, I wonder if you’ll notice? Edaha wo kazaru RAITO ga The lights adorning branches and leaves Machi wo akaruku terashidasu Shine brightly upon the town. Ashimoto bakari minaide Don’t just stare at your feet; Kao wo agete issho ni utaou Lift up your face and sing together with me. Happy Anniversary Sekai wo tsunagu It’s a wonderful day of remembrance Suteki na kinen no hi That links the world together. Mune-ippai no “arigatou” wo I’ll softly deliver to you Sotto anata ni todokete oku ne A heartfelt “thank you”. Asu no asa made, gussuri to oyasumi Until tomorrow morning, sleep soundly. TRACK 9 - MEGU KAKIZAKIS' "HAPPY MEDICAL EXAM ROOM" Suigintou: It's about time for the end of "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'", so- Megu: [Echoing voice:] "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Room'". [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Groan.] I knew it... Megu: [Giggle.] Thank you, Suigintou. Suigintou: It doesn't particularly mean that I've approved of it. Megu: And right off, we've got a caller on the line. Hello? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hello! Megu: Good day. I'm this program's assistant, Megu Kakizaki. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Kun kun kun... [Chuckle.] Hey, good day! I'm Kunkun - the ill-fated detective! Suigintou: Eh-?! Kunkun?! Megu: Ah, by any chance would you be...? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Yeah, I'm that Kunkun! Suigintou: K... Kunkun~?! Megu: Then, might you chat with us for a bit? Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] Of cooourse! Hmmm... Actually, ahh... Megu: Actually? Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] I'm extreeeeemely... Megu: [Drawn-out:] Extreeeeemely...? Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Drawn-out:] Troubled by somethiiiiing... Suigintou: Ah, Kunkun-! Megu: Troubled by something? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Well, if I had to say one way or the other... mmm, perhaps, rather, *worried about* something... Megu: Um... This is wasting time, so would you mind please getting directly to the point? Suigintou: H-hey, Megu-! How dare you speak in that tone of voice to Kunkun-?! Megu: Well, he's taking so long. May I hang up now? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ah, w-wait a second! I-I'll get directly to the point! Megu: Well, go ahead please. Kunkun: [On the phone:] [Sigh.] Thank goodness! [Funny voice:] Golly, you surprised me there~! [Laughter.] Juuust kidding~! Ya-ha-ha! I've got this habit, you see, of speaking in a really roundabout way. I guess you could call it, an occupational hazard? [Sigh.] Megu: ... I'm hanging up. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ahhh-! Sorry! Wait! Please, wait! I'll tell you about it right away! I'll tell! Megu: [Sigh.] Well, go ahead please. Kunkun: [On the phone:] You reeeally made me sweat theeere ~kunkun! Ahh, wellll, after all, it's in the nature of my line of work to tell people, "If you've got something troubling you, just leave it to me," you know? But, if I may be so bold as to say it, having nothing to worry about... might itself be a worrying thing? Juuuust kidding~! [Laughter.] [Click.] Suigintou: M-Megu-?!! Megu: [Sigh.] That concludes the corner, "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Roo-'" [Ring.] [Click.] Megu: Yes, hello? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hey now! Hey now, hey now! Really, please, don't hang up on me! Megu: [Coldly:] Do you have some other business with us? Suigintou: W-wait a second, Megu! Megu: But... Suigintou: W-well, then... If you wish, I wouldn't mind speaking to him in your place, but... Megu: Eh? Suigintou, what's the matter? Suigintou: N-nothing in particular~! It's... I just, felt like it is all... Megu: Yes? Well then, Suigintou, if you please. Suigintou: [Gulp.] Y-yes...! ... A-ah... Hello~? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hello! Ahh, you really bailed me out there~! Suigintou: I-I... You're quite welcome! A-ahh, Kunkun... I... My name is S-S-Suigint- Kunkun: [On the phone:] So then, let's get right to the point! Actually, I've been thinking about, hmm, novelty items for my program, I guess you could call them - presents for the viewers of the show. But no good ideas are really occurring to me, you see? Well, as you know, it's quite a long-running program, so the usual sort of goods have been thoroughly milked dry by now. So, what I need is not something that's been made before, but some kind of goods you could call "now", "young", and "sensitive" - like me! ... Hmm... When I try to think of what it should be, ahh, my head seems like it's entered a labyrinth, a maze... Suigintou: A-ah... I-I see... Kunkun: [On the phone:] So, I thought I'd take a shot at asking the opinion of a disinterested third party! And I was thinking, it should be something "cute" and "pretty" and 'high-sense", and furthermore the type of goods that could be cheaply mass-produced would be good, you know? Suigintou: Mm-hmm, as expected of Kunkun...! That's so deep~! Megu: Do you think so? Sounds very convenient for him. Suigintou: Goods... Goods, eh? ... Mmmmm~, goods...! Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hmmmm...! What should it be... What should it be? Suigintou: I... ah, I mean, your fans would... I think that as long as it's from Kunkun, they'd be happy no matter what it was! [Giggle.] Kunkun: [On the phone:] Very happy to hear that ~kunkun~! But, it's not very instructive. Megu: Yes. Well then, how about just giving them some fakes? Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ehhh?! Suigintou: H-hey, Megu-! What's the idea of suggesting fakes?! Kunkun: [On the phone:] Th-that sounds like excellent reasoning. Even for one as perceptive as I, it's a most unexpected concept! Suigintou: You're startling Kunkun! Kunkun: [On the phone:] No, could you explain to me your bold reasoning? Megu: Sure. Actually, the other day I received some Kunkun goods during a hospital visit by a person who said they'd gone on a trip overseas. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Hmm... Ah-?! You don't mean... that was...?! Megu: Yes. They were fakes. [Dun-dun-dun.] Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ahhh! That's a shoc-Kunkun~! Ah, you mean those things, those fakes from overseas, that are kinda subtly funny-looking and stuff, those things, right? That have the [BEEP] and the [BEEP] markings reversed, and kinda have the balance all crooked on the body, and when you [BEEP] the [BEEP], the [BEEP] comes out! Those, right? Megu: Right. With the fakes that I got, when you [BEEP] the [BEEP], the [BEEP] comes out. Well, I just gave them away to someone else who wanted them, though. Suigintou: Ehh?! C-could that mean... that the Kunkun goods that I got from Megu are...?! Megu: But, on the other hand, those points that don't resemble the real thing were very cute. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ehh?! D-do you think so?! Megu: Yes. Those peculiarities gave it a flavor that's not to be found in the genuine article. Kunkun: [On the phone:] B-by "flavor", you mean in other words, my "prettiness" and "tastiness", right? C-certainly those are goods that wouldn't be thought of officially. Megu: By the way, it seems that almost all of the Kunkun goods sold overseas are fakes. Suigintou: Wha... what did you say?! Kunkun: [On the phone:] Wha... wha... what is this?! Megu: It comes with the territory of being popular. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Ngh...! But, but I'd... like to save them. Those people who are being deceived by fakes! This passion of mine, for the sake of saving them from fakes all over the world, right now is burning hotly! Suigintou: Ahhh, Kunkuuun~! Megu: There's only one means for you to confront these fakes. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Yeah - to release them officially, right? Megu: Yes. That's why you should just formally adopt the fake designs for your own use. Kunkun: [On the phone:] I see~! Kuuu-kunkun! That's what they call killing two birds with one stone, right? Magnificent! I would never have thought there was a person besides myself who could think up such a concept as this... Megu: It's all right. You'll be up to it - you're a guy who can do things if he tries. Suigintou: A-a guy who can do things if he tries-? Kunkun: [On the phone:] That's right. I'm... I'm a guy who can do things if he tries! [Chuckle.] Would you mind telling me your name? Megu: Eh? ... I think I said it at the beginning, but it's Megu Kakizaki. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Whooops~! That's right! How thoughtlessly rude of me ~kunkun! Megu: No, I don't mind. Kunkun: [On the phone:] Thanks! You saved me! Well, then, see you all again next weeKunk- Megu: Bye. [Click.] Megu: [Sigh.] Suigintou: H-hey, Megu! Couldn't you be a little bit more personable?! Megu: Well, that Kunkun was kind of a creep. In reality, I think fakes would suit him better. Suigintou: Ehh?! Hah... Megu's... a scary girl... Megu: [Giggle.] Well then, let's leave off here for today. We'll be waiting for you all to write. Suigintou: [Moan.] Is it all right to have turned out like this, I wonder...? I want you so much, Kunkun~! Megu: So then, the "happy key words" for you - today's astrology forecast. [Music changes.] Suigintou: A-again?! Megu: [Echoing voice:] Aries: Hello. ... Taurus: The upper arm. ... Gemini: *Blush*. ... Cancer: Fluff-fluff. ... Leo: Huh... ... Virgo: Well, kinda... ... Libra: Fork. ... Scorpio: Destination for a stroll. ... Sagittarius: Is that so? ... Capricorn: Pass the salt. ... Aquarius: Make the best of it. ... Pisces: Argentina. ... Suigintou: A-ahh... M-Megu? "The upper arm"? And, "fork"? Really, this makes no sense... Megu: It doesn't? Ah, more importantly, Suigintou, what sign are you? Suigintou: Ehh?! M-me? I'm... uh... Th-that kind of thing doesn't matter, does it?! Megu: [Chuckle.] No? Then, wanna "fluff-fluff" with me? Suigintou: E-ehh?! "F-fluff-fluff"... what are you going to do? Megu: [Whispering:] Fluff-fluuuff... [Normal:] Well, wanna "fork", then? Suigintou: N-no thanks! ... A-although I don't really understand what you mean... Megu: No...? You could just "make the best of it", for my sake. Well, that concludes the corner "Megu Kakizaki's 'Happy Medical Exam Room'". So then, today as always, please do your best, okay? [Music fades out.] TRACK 10 - ENDING [Music starts.] Suigintou: [Echoing voice:] "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i' - Christmas Special". [Music changes.] Suigintou: It's about time for the end of "Suigintou's 'Koyoi mo Ennu~i'". We brought this to you as a Christmas Special, but how was it really? I should have been spending my time in a leisurely fashion at the hot springs resort, but there was nothing elegant about it at all! Ahh, I got needlessly tired. Maybe I'm not using my Medium in the correct way? Megu: You called? Suigintou: N-no, I didn't call you! Megu: You didn't? Ah, but, Suigintou? Suigintou: What? Megu: It came up in the conversation earlier, but do you think we maybe ought to make some kind of novelty merchandise? Suigintou: Like... some cell phone straps or stickers or something? Megu: Right. It'd be kinda nice, don't you think, to be able to have our own goods? Suigintou: Yes... Well, *I've* already got all sorts of goods, but certainly it wouldn't be bad to have some specifically for this program. It's just that... Megu: Just that? Suigintou: Something conventional would be a bit... If it were to be something lame, then I'd rather not make any at all. Megu: Ah, then how about maybe a Suigintou feather-duster? Suigintou: HUH?! A "me" feather-duster?! Megu: Yes. Look, you've got plenty of them. There! [Snap.] Suigintou: [Yelp.] Ah... ah... What are you doing?! Megu: Look, they're so pretty. I think everyone would surely be glad to have one. There! There! There! [Snap snap snap.] Suigintou: [Yelping.] Hey-! ... Megu-! ... No-! S-stop it-! Megu: [Sigh.] Suigintou: I refuse - *refuse*! Why should I need to lose parts of my own body to make them!? [Panting.] Megu: But I wanted one so much... Suigintou: [Panting.] Ev... even though it's something you want, I won't stand for it. Now, leave already! Megu: Okaaay... Suigintou: Shoo, shoo! [Panting.] Ahhh, Father! Ah... I'll... do my best! ... Well then... may we... meet again sometime... goodbye... [Music fades out.] [Bamboo spout plonk.] TRACK 11 - BROADCAST POSTSCRIPT (Translation omitted.)